Protection
by LaylaBinx
Summary: SanzoGoku fluff! Goku comes down with food poisoning and, after collapsing during a fight, becomes convinced the others don't need him. Sanzo goes to find him and becomes his sole protector until help arrives. Lots of hurtcomfort goodness!
1. Another crappy day

**I own nothing!! This is fiction!!**

If there was one thing Sanzo couldn't stand it was someone trying to protect him. It had a tendency of making him feel weak, inadequate. And God Dammit, that seemed to be a lot of what was happening today.  
"Sanzo, get down!!"

Ah, prime example.

The priest suddenly found himself flat on his back in the desert with dusty, sweaty Goku on top of him.

"You have a little less than three seconds to get off of me…" the blond growled, cocking his Smith Wesson threateningly.

"God, you're such a jerk sometimes Sanzo." The boy retorted, jumping up to fend off another attack. "See if I ever save you again." The insult, however, was light-hearted and lacked any malice.

"Sanzo! Goku! Are you two alright?" Hakkai shouted from a few yards away.

Sanzo grumbled his response, getting to his feet just in time to shoot a charging youkai between the eyes. " Never better…"

Today had been a crappy day to put it excruciatingly lightly. Between the thunderstorm the night before, the constant stream of pissed off youkai, and running out of cigarettes, today was shaping up to be just fucking peachy. And God help the next person who asked for his sutra.

"Hey priest! How's about you handing over that sutra and I let you keep your pretty violet eyes in your head, huh?" A rather ugly youkai smirked, twirling and even uglier weapon between his fingers.

The blond's lips twitched in a hateful smile. "God help you." He muttered, firing point blank.

He glanced around cautiously, watching his fellow travelers. Gojyo and Hakkai were about 2 yards away, back to back and seemed to be holding their own against the dwindling army that had tried to ambush them. Goku managed a solid blow a few feet away, smiling cockily at his victory.

Sanzo watched him a few seconds longer than he intended to and angrily snapped himself back to reality. He's noticed irritably that he'd been watching the boy more and more frequently during their battles, his sharp gaze occasionally shooting over to check on him as things got serious.

Gojyo and Hakkai's established relationship had caused them to stay closer during the youkai attacks to watch one another's back, leaving the other two somewhat exposed. (Partially because Sanzo wouldn't willingly protect anyone and admit it -.-;)

So, every once in a while, Sanzo would find himself watching Goku just to make sure the kid could handle himself and not get stuck in deep shit.

While lost in his reverie, the priest suddenly found himself knocked to ground rather painfully and a pistol being shoved in his face.

"Hand over the sutra, asshole." The youkai above him growled, cocking the gun and taking careful aim.

Sanzo smirked, gritting his teeth. " Go ahead and shoot me, dickhead. Make my day."

His assailant looked temporarily stunned but quickly recovered, anger flashing in his eyes. " Alright prick, I'll start with you legs and work my way up, huh? How's that sound?" he growled, firing into the blonds thigh to initiate his point.

Sanzo bit back a cry. The bullet hadn't gone all the way in but had gone deep enough to bleed freely and hurt like a bitch.

"One down." The demon smirked, aiming at his other leg.

"Sanzo!!"

The priest looked up to see Goku running towards him, anger evident in his face.

" Oh my, it seems that I've found the pet. How wonderful…"

Sanzo saw the deadly smile form on the youkai's face and felt his stomach drop. " Goku! Stop!"

But his warning came too late. A bullet hit dead-center in Goku's forehead, throwing him backwards violently into the sand.

A cold pain shot through Sanzo as he stared blankly at Goku's motionless form. He wasn't aware of rising to his feet and reloading his gun. He felt absolutely nothing.

"Goku…" the broken whisper passed his lips without his consent, his eyes still glued on the lifeless figure in the sand.

"Hn. Alright monk, time to hand over that sutr-."

A bullet ricocheting in the back of his throat prevented the youkai from continuing. He gagged, his body convulsing brokenly as he fell to his knees and crumbled to the ground, laying still.

"Burn in hell, asshole." Sanzo snarled, his eyes cast down.

Anger, guilt and something else washed over him as he stared blankly into the hot sand. He had failed again. He had failed to protect Goku from the bullet meant for him. He had failed just as he'd failed his master-

"Ngh…I knew this thing was good for something…"

Sanzo froze at the voice behind him. He whipped around to see Goku sit up and deftly adjust his limiter, rubbing the sore spot on his forehead.

"Good thing they make these things so hard, huh?" he grinned, laughing and knocking on the metal band.

Immense relief flooded through Sanzo's sense and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to hug Goku or beat the living crap out of him.

"Goku…"

"Huh? Sanzo, you okay? You look kinda pale." The boy asked, looking up at him worriedly.

He chose the latter.

"You stupid monkey!!" The fan came down swiftly and multiple times.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Hey! What the hell is your problem?!" Goku cried, holding his now (even more) aching head. " I just asked if you were alright!"

Sanzo crossed his arms in response. "Get your ass up so we can catch up with the others."

"Alright, alright. Sheesh. I was just worried about you, God…" Realization seemed to hit like a brick and Goku laughed lightly. "Hey Sanzo, you weren't worried about me back there were you?"

" Get Up Monkey!!"

" Ow! Ow! Alright!! Enough with the damn fan!!"

**Aww, Sanzo cares…kinda…a little…Tell me what you think, it gets much better!!**


	2. In the inn

A few hours later, after being healed and thoroughly scolded by Hakkai all at the same time, the party finally found themselves settled at a small inn on the outskirts of town.

"Alright!! Crab puffs!!"

"Hey! Quit hoggin' all the sauce you stupid monkey!"

"Don't call me monkey, kappa!!"

"Excuse me, could we have some more tea when you get a chance?"

"…"

The waitress watched from the corner, a mixture of shock and amazement written across her face. Their table alone had consumed nearly all of the food in the kitchen and continued to ask for more.

The inn keeper watched as well, his pen frozen in mid-word. They certainly were a strange group but they paid well so that was all that mattered.

"Excuse me, miss! Do you have any more of these wontons? They're really good!"

The waitress jumped a little and looked up at the golden-eyed boy sitting closest to her.

"Um…well yes but I'm afraid they may have gone bad…we've had them for almost a year now…"

"That's alright! Bring 'em on out!"

"Um…o-okay..?"

She turned and retreated back to the kitchen, clutching her tray to her chest like a shield.

The group heard the cook raising hell about something and the waitress ran out, holding a plate containing three wontons. She set it down at the table and bowed, stepping back to her corner to keep at a safe distance.

They stared at the plate cautiously as if the food would attack at will. The wontons were a pale greenish-yellow color as opposed to their normal white and gave off a faint rancid smell.

"Oh my goodness, those really don't look right." Hakkai commented softly.

"Yeah, well not only that they kinda smell like a dirty sock." Gojyo added, poking one with his fork carefully.

"I'm so sorry!" the waitress cried, reaching for the plate. " I'll throw them away immediately."

"No, it's okay." Goku said, smiling at her. "One thing I never do is turn down food, no matter how it looks."

"Bleh…you wanna eat the sock wonton then be my guest…" Gojyo muttered, leaning back in his chair to see if the offer would be met .

Goku grabbed one with his chopsticks and examined it closely. "Well, bottoms up."

"Goku, wait! Don't-…"

The boy didn't give Hakkai a chance to finish as he popped it into his mouth and chewed slowly.

"Hey! They aren't bad at all! They taste great! Here, you guys try one!"

"Um…no thank you Goku, I'm fine."

"Ugh…just like a garbage disposal."

"Hn…check." Sanzo muttered, lighting a cigarette and taking a slow drag.

The waitress nodded and excused herself to the kitchen again.

Goku downed another wonton and laughed a little. " So Sanzo, were you really worried about me back there when we were in the desert?"

"Never…" came the grumbled response.

"Yeah right! You looked worried there for a minute!"

Sanzo rolled his eyes and leaned back. "No, I just didn't want to have to bury your dumbass all by myself. You would do something that stupid."

Goku stopped chewing and smiled humorlessly. " Yeah, I guess your right…that would be really stupid of me. I'd be the stupid one and I'd hate to have to be such and inconvenience to you…" he said, his voice dropping on the last word.

The boy smiled light-heartedly but deep inside the seed had been sown and Goku unconsciously began to doubt his place among the others.

He forced a laugh and gathered some scraps onto a napkin. " Uh…I think I'll go see if Hakryu is hungry…" and with that, he turned around and walked out quietly.

"Oh dear, I think you may have been a bit harsh with that last comment, Sanzo." Hakkai remarked softly as he watched Goku's retreating form.

"Yeah, that was kind of a low blow, monk." Gojyo leaned back, lighting a cigarette and capturing Hakkai's hand inconspicuously. "We all know the kid cares about you, he just wants to know that you actually give a shit back."

The priest made a "ch" sound but didn't answer.

"Beside, we all know the truth anyway. It's not like you hide it very well-." A bullet zipping past Gojyo's head cut off anything else he was about to say.

"You asshole! That could have killed me!"

"Yeah, well that's what stupid kappas get for opening their Goddamn mouths!"

"Now, now….;"

Sanzo rolled his eyes and tossed some money on the table, leaving the other two to their own affairs. He walked down to the room they'd rented, muttering various profanities as he went.

Then only rooms left available were singles which was fine for two members of the party. Goku was bunking with Sanzo for obvious reasons considering Gojyo and Hakkai would be rather "busy" tonight.

The door swung open softy and the blond walked in, sitting down on the bed and staring at the wall, his cigarette smoldering to ash between his fingers. An extra cot had been set up for Goku and the linens had been set on the bed.

Sanzo sighed heavily and rested his back against the wall, closing his eyes momentarily. Gojyo's head echoed in his head like a broken record.

' "We all know the truth anyway."'

Was that really why he'd been watching Goku more carefully lately? Could it be the fact that he truly was worried about his safety? Sure, it was obvious that Goku loved him but it couldn't be anything more than platonic, right? (Wrong! .) Had he really allowed himself to fall in love with Goku?

Sanzo stared up at the ceiling blankly. " That stupid monkey…"

Growling softly to himself he laid on his side with his back to the door. "From the day I was born to the day I die…" The words were soft, almost like a prayer. "…the only side I'm on is my own."


	3. As the night wears on

Golden eyes were fixated on the sky above, hands absently petting the (now full .) sleeping dragon curled up in his lap.

Goku blinked slowly, forcing his mind to fade back to reality.

"What the point of even being around them anymore if they don't want me in the first place?" he muttered softly, tracing Hakryu's wings with is fingers.

The tiny dragon chirped happily at all the attention he was receiving and snuggled into Goku's palm, falling back asleep.

Goku smiled softly and sighed, closing his eyes as well. It was nothing new, the constant teasing from Gojyo, the scolds from Hakkai and even the death threats from Sanzo were all normal and expected. But even the little side comments were starting to hurt.

"Damn monkey's nothing but a walking stomach."

"Goku, I really wish you would think next time before doing something so reckless. That was extremely inconsiderate."

"Get off or I'll shoot."

Goku took a slow breath. The night suddenly felt colder even though he knew it was just as hot as it had been. He shivered in spit of himself and stood slowly, gently setting Hakryu down on the ground.

"There ya go, little guy." Goku said quietly, smiling as the little dragon looked up. "Get some sleep, okay? Tommorow's going to be a long-.." Goku gasped as razor-sharp pain shot through his stomach.

"Ngh…" He grasped his stomach and fell to his knees. "What…the hell…?"

Pain coursed through his abdomen in white hot flashes and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, falling over to the side and laying in the dirt.

"Hah…dammit…" Goku pulled his knees to his chest and took small, shallow breaths. Slowly, the pain began to subside and gradually fade into a dull ache that radiated through his body.

After several minutes, Goku managed to pull himself back into a sitting position and carefully crawled to his feet.

His hands were shaking and his legs felt ready to collapse at any minute as the ground swayed beneath him.

Hakryu watched him worriedly and made a soft "kyu" sound, his eyes locked on Goku's shaky form.

"Ngh…it's okay, Hakryu…I'm alright." Goku smiled weakly at the little dragon and opened the door slowly. "Go to sleep little guy…"

The dragon watched as he stepped inside, his eyes still clouded with worry. "Kyuuu…"

Goku entered the bedroom silently and found Sanzo already asleep on the bed, his back to him. Keeping one arm wrapped around his stomach, he made his way over to the edge of the bed quietly to retrieve the linens for his cot.

Sanzo kept his back to him, seemingly undisturbed by Goku's presence.

The boy reached for the sheets slowly only to have his wrist suddenly captured by the "sleeping" monk.

"Goku…" The word was soft, almost inaudible.

The boy in question struggled to return his heart rate to a normal pace and answered quietly. "Y-yeah Sanzo…?

The room was silent for several seconds and Goku began to wonder if Sanzo had fallen asleep again. The tight grip on his wrist, however, made him doubt that possibility.

"Get to sleep. We have to get up early tomorrow morning and if you don't wake up when I tell you so help me God I'll leave you here."

Goku's blinked slowly and sighed a little. "Okay Sanzo. G'night…"

Sanzo listened as Goku made his bed and laid down, falling asleep almost immediately. But now Sanzo found that he was the one unable to sleep. He didn't like how warm Goku felt and how his hands seemed to be shaking when he had him by the wrist.

He made himself take a deep breath and close his eyes. Beside him, Goku whimpered a little in his sleep.

Off in the distance, thunder rumbled gently, dark grey clouds forming a blanket over the clear sky. Small droplets of rain began to fall quietly at first, gradually turning into silver sheets that swept across the town.

Sanzo groaned and buried his head under the pillow. This was going to be a long night.


	4. Unwanted

Morning arrived much faster than anyone liked to admit and the party groggily loaded into the jeep and began their journey once again. However, all was not right that morning. The car ride was much quieter than usual and that unsettling fact was made dramatically apparent.

"Goku, are you alright?" Hakkai asked worriedly, glancing at him over the back seat. The boy had hardly spoken all morning and had not once complained of being hungry. That alone was enough to peak the healer's concern and it made him uneasy.

"Yeah Hakkai…I'm fine. I just didn't sleep all that well last night…" The boy answered vaguely, his gold eyes focused absently out at the passing scenery.

Sanzo could vouch for that. Goku had tossed and turned all night long and had run to the bathroom on at least four separate occasions to empty the contents of his stomach.

Currently, Goku was leaning heavily against a duffle bag in the back of the jeep, his arm thrown limply over his torso. He was staring at the sky now with fever-glazed eyes that seemed much duller than their usual brilliance.

Gojyo cast him a sideways glance, frowning at how pale he looked. "Those wontons are coming back to bite you in the ass, huh?"

Goku didn't answer but weakly kicked the redhead in the thigh in retaliation.

A few more minutes passed in awkward silence before anything else was said.

"Hey Hakkai…Could you pull over for a sec…?"

The healer looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Well sure, but are you alright?" The question had been repeated like a mantra all morning.

Goku nodded slightly and jumped out of the car as it slowed to a stop. Keeping one arm wrapped around his stomach and the other planted firmly on the back of the jeep, he hunched forward and retched onto the ground below.

"Goku-?" Hakkai started but was cut off as a crudely-made dagger sliced through the air and imbedded itself in the car door right by his hand.

"Get the Sanzo party!!" A small group of youkai appeared off in the distance and the charged forward, snarling and growling in unison.

"Oh dear, it seems our morning just got a little more interesting…"

"And to think I was expecting a peaceful car ride in the country." Gojyo commented, deflecting an advancing youkai's blow easily.

"Ch…what a pain in the ass." The blond lit a cigarette and fired absently, killing two.

Goku straightened slowly and managed to block another dagger aimed for his heart. "Man…not today…"

The group was small, only 15 at most, but they wanted to see blood and were fighting with everything they had to achieve that goal. Each blow came fast and hard, aiming for a vital part of the body every time.

Goku now found himself stuck with three very pissed off youkai who wanted nothing more than to mutilate him and rape his corpse. (Pleasant thought -.-;)

"Nyoi-bo! Longer!" He shouted, taking down two of them. "Hah…assholes…"

Black spots began to stain his vision and he fell to his knees, his body suddenly becoming too heavy for his leg to hold up.

The last remaining youkai snarled, trailing his hand across the blade of his machete. "Say goodnight, kiddo." The blade was raised high and brought down swiftly, directly towards his head.

"Dammit monkey!!" Gojyo growled, catching the youkai's wrist with his chain.

The demon snarled and started to yell something but was cut off as another chain wrapped itself around his throat, snapping his neck effortlessly.

The chain retracted and Gojyo walked over, grabbing a handful of Goku's shirt and jerking him up. "You stupid chimp!! This is no time for a nap! Now get off your ass!"

Goku growled hotly and wrenched himself from Gojyo's grasp. "Shut the hell up, water sprite! I bust my ass just like everyone else!"

"Oh yeah?! Well just now you were almost sliced into lunch meat by a guy with the intelligence of a kindergartener! Either suck it up and help out or leave, you're only holding us back!"

Goku's eyes widened. "W-what did you say…?"

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "I said your holding us back. We can't move forward if we have to keep protecting your ass!"

Rage and betrayal welled up in the pit of his stomach and Goku lashed out blindly, striking Gojyo squarely across the jaw.

The redhead stumbled backwards, his eyes wide with shock. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and his spit out a glob of it onto the ground. "You little-."

Goku tackled him before he could finish, slamming him into the ground and beating him mercilessly. " You take that back you asshole!!"

"Goku!"

The boy jumped and stood at the sheer iciness in Sanzo's voice. "Gojyo's right."

"W-what?" Golden eyes widened at the statement.

"We can't afford a weak link. We have enough people trying to steal the sutra without you bowing down and giving them that opportunity."

"B-but I just-."

"Goku!" The boy jumped and shut up instantly. "That's enough."

Thunder rumbled menacingly above, signaling that more rain was soon to follow. A cool wind shot through Goku and he backed up slowly, eyes cast downward. Then, without warning, he turned and ran off towards a small patch of trees in the distance.

"Goku!!" Hakkai shouted after him but to no avail. He sighed softly and walked over to Gojyo, helping him stand.

The redhead watched Goku's retreating form and sighed heavily, rubbing his jaw. "Damn…I didn't mean to piss him off so much…I was just angry, ya know?"

Hakkai nodded, his eyes still cast off to the patch of trees. "I think we've all been a little hard on him lately."

"Hn…he's just being dramatic. He'll come back."

The healer looked to Sanzo who stood emotionlessly by the back of the jeep, his green eyes soft but jaded.

"While I know you're probably right, the chances of more youkai hiding out in those woods is a little greater than I'd like to admit."

Sanzo said nothing but felt a slight pang of fear shoot through him as he realized Hakkai was probably right. He usually was anyway, damn him.

"My question lies with you, however." The green-eyed man continued. "Are you more angry about the idea of losing the sutra or about losing Goku?"

With that said, he turned his attention back to Gojyo and helped him back into the jeep.

Sanzo sighed heavily and took a slow drag from his cigarette, tossing it to the ground and crushing it with his foot. "Dammit…"

**Hah! God Sanzo's such a jerk but that's why we love him! More angsty-fluff to come!!**


	5. Save me if you will

Goku ran hard and fast, his eyes blurry with hot tears. He had no idea where he was going nor did he care, he just kept running.

Finally, his knees buckled and he tumbled painfully to the ground. The rough terrain ripped through his pants and bit into his skin sharply causing blood to slowly pool to the surface. His left forearm was skinned from wrist to elbow and his palms were shredded. But none of that mattered, Goku was too numb to care.

He gritted his teeth hard and growled, anger and hurt burning in his chest. So it was true, he was nothing but a burden to them?

The question plagued his thoughts and made him feel even worse. Hi skin pulsed with flashes of hot and cold and sick sweat broke out across his forehead. His stomach flipped irritably and he once again found himself vomiting into the hot, dry earth below.

"Aww...whatsa matter kiddo? Not feelin' to hot?"

Goku's head snapped up just in time to avoid a potentially lethal blow. Three youkai stood above him, smirking and sneering maliciously. "Oh, come on…" he groaned weakly.

"Hey Jonas…I think he's the brat that helped kill some of our clan."

"Yeah, I think you're right. So what should we do to teach him a lesson, hm? Break his legs? Cut off his arms? What would leave a lasting impression?"

The boy stood slowly, balancing himself on his nyoi-bo.

No sooner had he put both feet on the ground, the youkai attacked viciously. They kicked and punched furiously, each trying to take down a kid who was narrowly missing each blow.

Goku stumbled backwards and caught himself, knowing if he fell it would be certain death. He gripped his weapon tightly, leaning into it and breathing hard. Dizziness made his vision swim and he rapidly shook his head trying to clear his mind.

The youkai smirked murderously. "You're pretty good, kiddo…" one started, his claws glistening like tiny daggers. "But not good enough."

The demon lunged forward and Goku felt his body tense as he waited for the blow.

A single shot rang out and the youkai stopped in mid-attack, his eyes wide and unseeing. He made a strangled noise and collapsed leaving a rather irritated looking  
Sanzo and smoking gun behind him.

Goku's eyes widened. " S-Sanzo…You…came…?"

"Ch…you dumb monkey. Always getting yourself into trouble."

The remaining two youkai growled angrily and charged toward the blond, leaving their original target behind.

Goku's vision began to slip again and he desperately tried to push his body forward but to no avail. The world titled crazily and faintly felt himself hit the ground. His nyoi-bo fell from limp fingers and crashed to the dusty earth. He heard a few more gunshots ring out before he closed his eyes and allowed himself to spiral into darkness.

**Ahh! It's short! Oh well, still good right?**


	6. Protecting the protector

Sanzo kicked the youkai off his leg and grumbled softly. "Pain in the ass." The priest grumbled, tucking his gun in his robe and turning around.

"Alright monkey, what the hell is your prob-?" he froze at the sight of Goku's motionless form.

Something was very wrong with this picture; Goku was never this still, not even when he slept (which was why Sanzo had started keeping a fan hidden in his pillowcase at night) But now, he laid almost lifelessly on the ground, small wisps of sand whipping around him.

Sanzo felt something shake deep into his core as he stared at the boy. Then, before he knew it, he had rushed over and gently flipped Goku onto his back.

The boy's face was pale and flushed and his head fell to the side against Sanzo's shoulder.

The priest gently stroked his hair away from his face, feeling the fever that consumed his body.

Thunder rumbled above causing him to look up at the blanketed sky. Cold, silver drops began to fall from the clouds, peppering the ground around them.

Sanzo gathered the unconscious boy in his arms and lifted him carefully. He looked around for some kind of shelter, knowing full well that the weather was about to turn to shit. He spotted a small cave hidden among the trees and walked over to it, cradling his charge close. The cave wasn't very deep but it was dry, which was more than he could say for anything else as the rain began to fall heavier.

Once inside, he lowered Goku to the ground, supporting his back with one arm. The boy's breathing sounded harsh and labored in the quietness of the cave and Sanzo felt a wave of alarm sweep through him.

Goku's fever continued to render him unconscious but now tremor-like shivers had begun to course through his small body.

Sanzo stared helplessly for a few seconds, wondering what he should do. He'd never felt helpless before, especially not when Goku was involved.

Goku's teeth chattered softly, his shivering still racking his still form. Without Hakkai here there was no way to get his fever to go down or cure whatever it was that was ailing him.

Sanzo looked on for a few more seconds before getting up and walking to the mouth of the cave. He deftly ripped on sleeve of his robe and held it out, allowing the rain to soak it. He wrung out the excess water and walked back into the cave, kneeling beside the unconscious boy.

Sanzo gently brushed away and strand of hair that had plastered itself to Goku's face and pressed the cloth to his forehead, causing the boy to jump at the sudden contact.

"Shh…"the priest soothed softly, running the rag over Goku's face and neck. Slowly, the shivers began to subside little by little until Goku was laying still, his breathing quiet and raspy.

The blond got up and went to re-wet the rag, coming back in and sitting down, continuing his ministrations.

He carefully unbuttoned Goku's shirt (does it have buttons?) and slowly began rubbing small circles into his chest, hoping it was helping him breathe a little easier.

After a few minutes had passed and he was satisfied he'd at least accomplished something, Sanzo rested the rag across Goku's forehead and walked to the mouth of the cave, looking out into the rain.

Hakkai and Gojyo would be grounded until the rain let up leaving him and Goku stranded in the cave.

Sanzo glanced back at Goku, his face etched with concern. Until help arrived, he was Goku's sole source of protection. And that bothered him. Not the fact that he had to protect him but the sheer fact that Goku needed protection. He had never seen Goku so heartbreakingly helpless before and it was hard for him to see him this way. Even when he'd rescued him from the cave the first time they met, the boy had a defiant spark behind his eyes that proved his ability to take care of himself.

But not that spark was hidden behind a fever-clouded shine that rendered Goku helpless against it.

The priest sighed softly and walked back into the cave, sinking down and sitting by the unconscious boy. A few moments passed in silence, nothing but the sound of the rain echoing throughout the cave.

Sanzo never made the conscious decision to pull Goku into his lap and cover them both with his robe. Nor did he decide to start stroking his hair as the boy snuggled closer to older man's body.

The blond wrapped his free arm around Goku's chest, his hand slipping beneath the fabric of his shirt and coming to rest on top of his sternum, feeling the reassuring heartbeat that settled there.

As Goku's head fell back against his shoulder, he took the opportunity to rest his cheek against the soft brown hair that caressed his neck. Sanzo smiled ever so softly as he took in the scent of sunshine from the boy. It was such a contradiction, but for some reason, it fit Goku perfectly. The boy was gentle and warm but equally vicious when need be.

Sanzo closed his eyes slowly, keeping a firm yet gentle hold on charge. The rain began to dull his senses and felt his eyes slowly begin to close. After taking one last look around the cave and unconsciously gripping his gun at his side, Sanzo let himself fall into the comforting embrace of sleep.

A few hours late, Sanzo woke with a start, his entire body rigid and tense. Two things had startled him back to awareness; first was the fact that it had stopped raining and had become eerily silent. Second was the fact that he could no longer feel Goku's heart beating beneath his palm.


	7. All I wanted was your acceptance

Adrenaline flooded his system and he quickly moved so Goku was laying flat on his back. The boy's head fell to the side limply and his lips were tinted a sickening shade of blue.

Sanzo gripped the boy's shoulders and shook him roughly. "Goku!! You stupid monkey! Don't you even think about dying on me!!"

The priest's eyes widened and he jerked back as a large pool of blood began to pool around Goku's body, staining his clothes in large patches.

"What…the hell…?" Sanzo looked at his hand, blood covering them and dripping down his arms in small, crimson streams.

"Goku…what…?" he began but stopped, staring horrified at the large pool of blood that smeared the ground where Goku had been.

"Hn…all I ever wanted was your acceptance." A sultry, deadly voice breathed from the mouth of the cave.

Sanzo's eyes shot up to see the demon, Son Goku, standing at the cave's entrance with his back to him. The youkai turned slowly, his gold eyes holding a look that could freeze fire. He smirked heartlessly and looked at Sanzo, his arms cradling something.

The air choked in his throat and his heart nearly stopped as the priest caught sight of the demon's possession.

Goku hung limply from his demon counter-part's grasp, blood still staining his clothes.

"Goku…"

"Your burden is over Genjo Sanzo." The youkai growled silkily. He raised his hand up, the pale light causing his razor-sharp fingernails to gleam.

"No…don't!!" Sanzo cried, only to meet deaf ears.

The claws came down swiftly, ripping fabric and flesh at the same time.

Goku's eyes shot open, his face contorting in agony. A terrible scream erupted from his throat and blood began to gush from his mouth.

Sanzo gritted his teeth tightly and his arms went to reach for his gun, only to find that they wouldn't obey. "You son of a bitch!"

The sickening sound of bond and tissue ripping in unison echoed in the cave. Goku's screams died, leaving him limp, eyes wide and blank.

His youkai counterpart dropped him with a bone-shattering crunch and smirked at Sanzo. Blood pooled on the ground and dripped from shining claws. With heartless joy gleaming in his eyes, Son Goku carefully and methodically began to lick the blood from his fingers.

Whatever paralysis had seized Sanzo was suddenly broken at the sight of Goku's lifeless form. He grabbed his gun and began firing continuously, his violet eyes clouded with rage.

The youkai convulsed and stumbled back, the bullet bombarding his body. He fell the ground hard, his body disintegrating into a cloud of black smoke.

The gun fell from shaking fingers and Sanzo stared brokenly at Goku. Gold eyes stared at him, half-lidded and glassy. Blood oozed sluggishly from his mouth and nose, drying on his face in dark streams.

"San…zo…" the whispered weakly, causing something to shatter inside the priest. Goku's eyes softened slightly and a sad smile crossed his face. He opened his mouth to say something else but the words died in his throat with a hitched gasp. His body shuddered visibly and there was a low sigh of air leaving his abused lungs. Goku's body twitched one last time and then he laid still, his eyes dull and empty and the same sad smile resting across his face.

Sanzo felt the world crumble around him, his body numb and useless

"Goku…"he whispered brokenly, tears threatening to fall without his knowledge.

"Goku…!!" he said louder, his voice cracking and echoing around him. But it was no use, the boy was dead. He'd never hear him complain about being hungry again, never listen to another smartass comment made while fighting off youkai, never get to see another smile cross his innocent face.

Tears fell freely now and Sanzo realized he'd just lost the second in his life he'd ever loved.

In the silence of the cave, the Sanzo priest began to weep openly, his body shaking with sobs. Try as he might, he simply couldn't keep the tears away.

"GOKU!!"

**Oh my God…that was fucked up. Did you like it or hate it?**


	8. Putting worries to rest

Violet eyes snapped open sharply, darting around in and unfocused haze. His body went rigid as the memory resurfaced and he felt his heart begin to pound harder.

"Goku!" he started to jump up but stopped as a small whimper sounded against him. He looked down to see Goku still asleep against his chest, his body relaxed and calm.

Sanzo could barely contain his relief and gently hugged the boy tighter against him. He cupped the boy's face and stroked his thumb over Goku's cheekbone. The fever still hadn't broken but the shivering had stopped and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

The priest placed a hand over his eyes and let his head fall back against the cave wall with s soft thud.

Apparently, this was enough to jolt Goku back to consciousness caused his whimpered and looked up. "Ngh…Sanzo…?"

The man in question moved his hand and looked down. "Hm?"

"Um…I…uh…" A distressed look crossed his face.

"Spit it out monkey."

Goku's eyes fell and he looked down slowly. "Um…I'm sorry…for always being such a burden to you and the others…I know I'm an inconvenience to you…"

Sanzo's eyes widened a little. So that was what the boys was so worried about? He felt a pang of guilt realizing that most of Goku's insecurities probably stemmed from Sanzo himself.

"I know that I'm annoying…and that I cause a lot of trouble…but I just want to make you proud…I want you to be proud of me…I'm sorry." Goku faded off, his eyes focused on the floor so Sanzo couldn't see them.

The priest sighed slowly, hoping he was doing the right thing. He gently tilted Goku's head back and looked at him evenly, cradling his face gently.

"Sanzo…?" the golden-eyed boy questioned softly, his eyes confused and glassy.

The older man didn't respond but leaned forward, closing the gap between them in a shy, awkward kiss.

The kiss was soft and gentle and they both sat there for several seconds, unsure of what to do next. Realizing that air happened to be a vital necessity, the broke apart reluctantly.

Goku looked at Sanzo, his eyes shining with unshed tears. He smiled softly and leaned up, kissing the blond a little harder than before.

Fever be damned. Sanzo deepened the kiss, burying his hands in Goku's hair and biting his lower lip softly.

Several seconds later, Goku broke away, panting softly. His face was flushed and pale but he was smiling.

Sanzo smiled back and pulled him down carefully so that Goku was laying against his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around the boy's back, rubbing small circles over his shoulder blades.

The boy's breathing deepened and he fell back into a deep sleep, curled against his priest's chest.

Sanzo held him close, watching him for a couple of seconds, a small, content smile playing across his lips. He leaned back slowly, closing his eyes and falling into a peaceful sleep, this time dreaming not about losing Goku but staying with him forever.

**My God, finally! It's about bloody time!**


	9. Stay with me

Glassy, gold eyes opened slowly only to see a fan swinging down at him with deadly velocity.

"Gah…!!" Goku jumped, his hands coming up to cover his face, instinctively trying to block the fan.

Sanzo sighed irritably. "Would you calm down, you dumb monkey. I'm not going to hit you with the fan while you're asleep.

"You have before." Upon further examination, Goku could see that the fan was open and being used to keep him cool. He relaxed slowly and laid back down, suddenly drained from his outburst. "How long have I been out?" he asked softly, looking at Sanzo.

The blond gazed at him for a second before lighting a cigarette and taking a slow drag. "A little over two days."

Goku's eyes widened but he didn't say anything at the time.

"Hey Sanzo…did you really stay with me this whole time?"

The priest didn't respond but from the look he gave him, Goku knew his answer.

"So…what happened in the cave was real? It really happened? It-.."

"…Meant nothing." Came a low growl.

Goku snapped his mouth shut instantly and felt his heart drop to his knees, his face burning with embarrassment and shame.

"Besides," Sanzo continued. "I wasn't about to advantage of a sick kid when he wasn't even coherent enough to respond." The blond smirked softly and winked at Goku, hoping the boy would get the hint.

Realization hit like a brick and Goku grinned at the man in front of him. He got up slowly and balanced himself against the edge of the bed. His body swayed a little and Sanzo sat rigid in case he had to jump up to keep him from falling.

However, Goku managed to stay upright and shuffled over to Sanzo, sitting in his lap and wrapping his arms around the priest's neck

The blond smiled softly and hugged him close, holding him up against his body. He brushed a few strands of hair away from Goku's forehead and paused to check on his fever. He was still a little warm but the last of the illness was leaving his body and he'd be back to him normal self soon.

"Will you stay with me?" The request was almost so soft that Sanzo couldn't hear it.

"I haven't left you yet, have I?" he replied a little too gruffly but they both knew he didn't mean it.

Goku smiled happily and leaned against the older man's shoulder, falling asleep again and hiding his face in his neck.

The presto stayed still for a while, content with just holding the boy close to him.

There was a small knock on the door and Hakkai stepped in carefully. "Hello there, I just came by to check on Goku but I can see he's doing much better now." He said, smiling knowingly at the display in front of him.

Sanzo made some kind of snarky comment but gently brushed away the hair from Goku's face.

Hakkai smiled softly. " I'll leave you alone. Let me know if anything changes, okay?"

The blond nodded and heard a rather perverse shout from Gojyo. "Your thing is calling you."

A graceful smile fell across Hakkai's lips and he nodded. "We'll be back later then." He winked as Sanzo and closed the door softly behind him.

Sanzo picked up the sleeping boy and laid him down on the bed, laying beside him. "Of course I'll stay with you." He whispered, stroking Goku's face lovingly. "But the next time you make me worry like that I'll have to kill you."

He pressed a kiss the boy's forehead and closed his eyes, falling into a deep, peaceful sleep with the one he loved curled protectively in his arms.

**Yay fluff!! Huzzah!**


End file.
